Variegation 1

I have certain rules for plants that I buy.  1) Leaves must be no smaller than the size of my hand - preferably, they should be bigger than my head.  2)  If a plant is freaky - e komo mai!  3)  Smell is fabulous - I like them sweet and rancid.  But all these rules go out the window in the face of variegation.  I am pretty much unable to resist any and all kinds of variegated foliage.

Since I've been redoing one side garden, I've found that I've been amassing quite a number of variegated leafed plants.  I've posted some pictures of some below with my best internet guesses as to what they are.  Some of these plants were purchased from some guy who didn't know what it was but was willing to grab a shovel and dig some out of his back yard others were purchased from Ko'olau Farmers which notoriously labels things just as "ginger".  If anyone knows what these plants really are, please let me know.

Zingiber zerumbet "Darcyi"

Rhapis excelsa variegated

Zingiber mioga

Alpinia zerumbet varigata

Alipinia zerumbet varigata with a Rhapis excelsa puppy to the left

Variegated Cordyline

Hibiscus rosa-sinensis variegata

I have more variegation to post next week.  Happy Sunday gardening to you all.

Grow Where You're Planted

Or forced against your will or nature to be.

Although I'm slowly learning the nature of orchid growing and am no longer just the hand of death, I find that if I can stick them in the tree (that is, make Scot climb the tree and either shove it in a crook or tie it to a branch), they do MUCH better.

Sometimes nature's best elixer is neglect.

Sometimes, if you get lucky, where you are just suits you.

So bloom today.

The Tyranny of the Large Plant

I've planted my garden so bass-ackwards.  Fortunately, I fully and truly believe that if a shovel can get it out of the ground, anything can be moved, and it will survive and do even better this time.  I'm like the Liz Taylor of gardeners.  

But at this point, my beautiful ohai ali'i (Caesalpinia pulcherrima) just won't be.  I love this plant.  It's been moved so often, and look at it.

Isn't it beautiful?  Look at the shape of its branches, and it's always a dependable flower-er.  But having put it where it is (actually, not true - it was somewhere much more wonderful, but the Phyllostachys nigra crowded it out), its current location has kind of massively effed up the whole garden design.

So, too, have the criniums.

Note the seed bulb

Close up of seeds of the crinium - ALL OF THEM WILL GERMINATE

Hiding behind the equally huge kava (Piper methysticum) 

All border plans very sensibly point out the benefits of the tall, medium, short arrangement.  So where are my big plants - the ones that should be functioning as anchors?  In the middle-front.

But don't I kind of owe the plant for becoming, well, a fully mature plant?  And the ohai is not going to survive the transplant unless I bring in a backhoe to dig it out, and with the grade in my yard, that's not going to happen.  OK, even if my yard were flat, it wouldn't happen.  And these plants kind of deserve to live given all of my neglect, so . . . so I'm kind of being held hostage by a bunch of plant thugs.

At what point does a gardener decide to cut her losses?  At what point does a gardener decide it's time to change horses - even if it's in mid-stream?  At what point does holding on to what is good, but not what you want, cost you more in the long run?

I've put 6 years into this garden.  Sometimes I feel that if only I had chosen differently.  If only I had thought things out more.  If only I had known.  Things would be better/more beautiful/perfect.  If only.

Thievery

Sucks.  And thieves suck more.

Several weeks ago, there were some attempted break-ins in my very small neighborhood.  A little scary as one of the targeted homes is inhabited by an elderly lady who would have been at home during the time.

Luckily, both attempts failed, but they've left a sense of vulnerability in their wake.  And hatred.  Let's not forget the negativity.  Today's attempt was especially unnerving to me since not only was it really early, but the neighbors were all up and about walking their dogs, chatting with each other, and I was thinning out my broms on the street.  I didn't notice a thing, and it's the house one over from mine!  

Brent Green who was featured in what is my favorite gardening issue of Sunset magazine (the article featuring Mr. Green was amazingly inspiring) noted that instead of putting bars on windows, homeowners should put pots of plants in front of potential entry points.  I wish I could find you the specific image in the magazine (it's not online) - it was kind of hilarious.  A would be intruder would have had to move - no kidding - something like 20 huge pots.  He also points out that plants with thorns help the situation, too.

Really?  OK, check out these BAMFs:

No one escapes this life unscathed

I'm trying to make a point here . . .

Unfortunately, I'd probably impale myself on these if I were to put it up against my vulnerable point of entry windows.  And because I'm me, and I did compete in Speech (hey, I practiced what I endorse), I always feel compelled to dramatize any situation.  If only I could sing and/or dance, I'd make all events so much more memorable than they need to be.


But when I say: THANK YOU KANEOHE POLICE DEPARTMENT!, I am not over drama queening it.  Their coming so fast to check things out really goes a long way to helping make things emotionally better for me.  So does my rearranging a lot of heavy pots with hideously vicious thorned broms in them in fron of my vulnerable points of entry - but hey, let's be realistic here - my plants don't pack heat.  Yet.  

Mirror . . . Reality

Later-ish post today - it was a great day to go surfing!

Back from Kailua Beach, I resumed my normal routine of making myself feel like a garden loser by reading Sunset's Patio and Stone.  My garden looks NOTHING like the ones in the book.  This realization came as quite a surprise, I can tell you.  Once I got over the shock, it came to me that I have the same relationship that Harry Potter does with the Mirror of Erised a la Nathan Rarick.  You know: Mirror . . . REALITY.

In that spirit, I'm going to start posting Mirror . . . REALITY posts every so often.  It's only a little depressing and embittering.


So here's the first Mirror:

Design and photograph by Mosaic Gardens

REALITY:

Separated at birth

Similar, right?  You can see how I'd mistake the two in my head.


Finally: Join and/or support Debate and Speech teams!  If you're a community member, consider judging at tournaments.  Participation in either is one of the best indicators of success at university.  It's a lot of fun, you'll learn a lot, and you'll have a lot more faith in tomorrow's leaders.


Oh, and maybe watch Part 1 of Nathan Rarick's Harry Potter video.  

Of Mice and Men

And unoriginal title posts.

Given the likelihood of the oncoming zombie apocalypse, Scot determined that per pound and cost, tilapia provided the best food source.  Accordingly, he put up a self-filtering system which, while FUH-UG-LY, is pretty amazing in its self-sustainability.  Except when it fails.  Which only occurs when I'm on watch.  You can see it in its incipient stage in the last photo on this post.  Cully is still as handsome as ever.  I wish I could say the same about the whole set-up.  And the fish. 

We're delicious!  Just kidding!  We're diseased, don't eat us.

But humans cannot live on tilapia alone.  Or at least, I can't.  Although when the zombies come, I guess I could.  But it helps to have something to help zip it up - and help me forget that I'm dining on poop-eating fish.  (If you grew up in Hawai'i when I did, that's what you thought tilapia ate - that's why they were so black and living in gross water.)  So chilis!  And let's face it, chilis solve kind of a lot of issues taste-wise.  One of the latest additions to the lower deck garden is Capsicum annuum "Black Cuban".

Allegedly edible.  Will keep you posted.  Or if I never write again after I eat it, please take the hint. 

I kind of had my doubts that this was edible.  The lady at the Kailua Ko'olau Farmers was less than reassuring with her: "oh, umm, yeah, sure."  And it wasn't the lady whom I trust; this was a new employee, so there's no trust built up.  There's nothing in our relationship history for me to fall back on or hold on to.  But thanks internet!  You never lie to me.  Ever.

Information about the plant said that the peppers were ripe when they turned red.  If you've grown chilis before, you know how fast these things get ripe.  And these just wouldn't change color.  Fortunately, it had good looks going for it.  But then two days ago, there was a reddish one.  And today boom. 

Bring it, zombies.

Two!  We're rich!  And I think that the one in the top of the photo looks like it might be considering ripening, too.

I also put in some habanero, "Thai hots", and Naga Bhut Jolokia seeds.  They've all sprouted, so hopefully, they'll grow up to be obnoxiously and embarrassingly fecund plants.  I'll let you know how that goes.  Assuming, of course, everything goes well with the "Black Cubans".

A Year Later

And the garden has just . . . gone ugly.  Perhaps it was the Phyllostachys nigra's leaves smothering new growth or perhaps changing the acidity of the soil as it decomposed.  Or, umm, maybe not watering or weeding for 9 months?  Note to self about putting back in the drip irrigation system on a timer.

Actually, it still kind of looks like this on this side - on a good day.

Sometimes I really wish that I had left well enough alone.

But on the up side (literally), things are at least pleasant to look at, and Scot made art out of something pedestrian.

I'm thinking the same thing!  Mowing the yard would've have had a much bigger impact!

And the rhapis screen is growing up and out nicely.

Looking in

Looking out

Tough audience.

It's all wrong

Botany of Desire

A year later, and I still wonder: why the heck do I want what I want?  Why am I making the choices that I'm making?

I suppose this could be the segue into a contemplative examination of my life, but let's just not.  I avoid that kind of self-reflexive, possibly positive life changing activity like the plague.  I mean, let's consider it from this angle: Doesn't the constant desire to improve oneself reflect rather a deep, self-loathing?  Aren't I good enough RIGHT NOW?

Anyway, back to plants.  So the weirder the better.  My heart truly goes out to the freaky.  And while this is nowhere near the freak of, say, a Voodoo Lily or its cousin the Corpse - I present Scadoxus multiflorus:

Like someone made a flower out of Pop Rocks hitting fizzy soda.

The photo is from commons.wikimedia.  I'd show you mine, but I don't know any of you that well.  Again, anyway, back to plants.  I love this plant because my grandmother used to have it in her garden in Kalihi.  It'd come and go as it is wont to do - popping up, blooming its exploding head off, then dying back.  Of course, no internet back then, so who knew that the silly thing died back to the ground, then hibernated?  So the fact that its blooming coincided with my grandmother having dreams about dead people was seriously freaking cool.  Like dead people she knew (or people would were soon going to die), not, you know, Abraham Lincoln. 

So do I like it on its own merit?  It is toxic.  But so are most plants, and it's not like I plan on eating it - 'cause, well, I hate salad anyway.  Also, it doesn't bloom all the time, and then it dies and goes underground like a bear during winter or cosplayers between comic cons (at least in public).

Do I love it for itself and its charms, or is the plant pulling at my heart because I miss my "I see dead people" grandma?  Or am I just trying to be cooler than all y'all because I bet you don't have it in your yard?

Botany of Desire

Besides books on food and foodways and eating, Michael Pollan also wrote The Botany of Desire, about how plants manipulate humans to create new plant species.

This leads me to wonder: Do I really want what I want?  Or is there some external force working in the universe to thwart my true desires?  I mean, I know how I'd dress given my druthers (Stevie Nicks is a GODDESS), but the reality of me is much . . . sloppier.  And less lace driven, although still platform shoed.

GODDESS

And for those more formal occasions like prom:

He'd be the best prom date ever, no offense Alan, David, or Derek

And she had an album entitled Bella Donna!  Which is a super poisonous plant!  She was so meant to be on this website somehow.

Atropa belladonna

To return to the subject of garden desire, in my last post, I swooned over black/burgundy plants.  Now those are schmexy colors invoking Tom Ford a la Gucci (in the not hilarious, campy way, but in the oh, goodness! way).  But why not pink?  Not fuchsia, but pink.  Or lavender?  I mean, look at Scott Weber's garden on any of his postings on Rhone Street Garden.  Photographic skills aside, this gentleman has a lovely sweep of lovely!  Why don't I want it?  OK, I'm lazy, and those flowers aren't going to deadhead themselves, but is that it?  I know why I don't plant anything with yellow foliage or flowers even though I do like them.  It's because I read once that real estate agents plant yellow flowers because viewers remember that, and hence, will remember the house.  My reasoning is that yellow flowers/foliage will cause someone who is casing the joint to come back and rob it.  Yah, I'm serious.  Hey, it's a good a reason as any.

But again, am I creating my personal Eden or the other way around? 

Little Known Fact: Plant Porn > Shoe Porn

There are more plants that I want than there are shoes.  This is a major statement, but easy to understand.  I mean, even trying my best, I'll never wear more than 2 different styles at one time - ideally, they'd be of similar heel height, but hey, keep an open mind, I guess.

But with the flora, oh, my goodness!  How much green (preferably black) goodness can be stuffed in a square foot?  Well, yah, depending on size, but you get my meaning.  And since I rarely refer to the template of reality, and lack any kind of aesthetic discipline, my gardens tend to be very crowded.  Sensory overload?  Who says that when confronted with an exquisite pastry selection?

So while I was waiting for the day to get really hot so I can garden (because suffering builds character, and I'm Asian), I trolled Gardendesign.com for "ideas" - and found some that really need to go in my garden, like, now.

Ghost fern (Athyrium 'Ghost')

OK, honestly, who can resist a name like "Ghost fern"?  And supposedly it glows at night because of its silvery color, hence the name.

Another fern with very awesome black stems:

Green Cliff Brake Fern (Cheilanthes viridis)

And these shrubby trees:

Elderberry (Sambucus "Black Lace")

Apparently the Elderberry also flowers quite heavily.  It's nice and all, but kind of unnecessary given the amazing color of the leaves, no?  And think of the rubbish!  I'm very anti-rubbish.

Elderberry (Sambucus "Black Lace")

Smoke Tree (Cotinus coggygria "Royal Purple")

And a closer shot of the Cotinus below.  Supposedly, it's the same, but the growth looks a lot different.  I like both!

Cotinus coggygria "Royal Purple"

Hmm, actually, I think that I have the Cotinus coggygria (top picture) in a pot.  OK, let me amend: I want more of them.   By the way, the close up shot of the Smoke Tree above is from UBC Botanical Garden and Centre for Plant Research website which is a really interesting and useful (mostly for plant porn) site even for gardeners in tropical climes.

And some tender plants:

Pineapple Lily (Eucomis comosa "Sparkling Burgundy"

The Eucomis is the deep purple plant growing in the foreground.  I also am digging those plants in the background with the black stems.  Nice.

And a Canna:

Canna Tropicanna Black

I have a skinny leafed black canna which I'm doing my best not to kill.  The Canna Tropicanna Black above has such fatty leaves.  Love.  The flowers are a little unfortunate, but they only last a day, so I can deal.

And this is the reasonable list; the plants are all good in my zone!  Except for the Elderberry which is zone 4.  But 4 is just 10 - 6 which is just like.

Happy Sunday gardening everyone.

All Front and No Knickers

Cully looks either like he's having an attack of ennui or is utterly exhausted.  Either way, he can affect this hipsterically idiotic pose because he didn't have to sweat for any of this.  Or work to receive the tax refund that fueled the pot binge that precipitated the deck transformation. 

I'm surrounded by pot

It's a very nice place to hang out day and night with good breeze, a sense of privacy, and a good micro-climate for the plants.

Too bad the floor boards and supporting joists are rotting.  Nice top side, weak supports.  But hey - one I have to look at daily.  The other is really other people's problems. 

Change and growth

On the plus side, the garden looks kind of good right now.  At like 18:17 on 2 July 2011.  RIGHT NOW.

Had some epiphanies over the last two days of gardening craziness.  1) What I want, I can't have.  There is no such thing as maintenance free.  Was not emotionally prepared to accept/understand this until now.  2) This yard is too big for me to maintain as currently envisioned.  I think that some kind of systemic poison is the answer.  3) Slave labor gets stuff done.  4)  I love putting plants in the ground SO MUCH that moving around the same plant 6 times in a day is pretty reasonable and fun.

This was the side garden last year:

Hogwire - how quaint, how naive.

I was pretty proud of how this looked last year.  But the rubbish that the bamboo was throwing down was just out of control.  The Bromeliads were just not right for the site.  So now it looks like this:

Things are a little bigger, a little more to the left.

 Things change.  I always forget that.  A year just flew by; children grew up, plants got taller, things died, new things sprouted.  Tuck was right, change, growth, decay - it's how it's supposed to be.

Maybe it's time to thin out the garden

Before it succeeds in eating the dogs.

Here, doggie doggie

I have PUPPY TREATS over here

That's it, come a little closer

Oh, well.  If Audrey hadn't eaten him, somebody else was thinking about it:

. . . with fava beans and chianti . . .

Inner life of hapu'u

It was time to trim the hapu'u in more than a "cut the fronds" kind of a way.  But according to the internet, source of all that is holy and true, it can be done by just cutting the growing stump. 

Who knew that this was what was hiding in the interior:

The interior core has a tapa-like design

And the top half that was cut off can be moved and planted as usual:

Allegedly heavy

Cully making the hapu'u look good

Planting can be done with or without help and/or commentary.

Frog Madam

After infesting the yard with these things:

Pretty front yard scene or scene of frog love frenzy? 

This is what I get:

http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/27/2707/7N1ND00Z.jpg

Only less pretty and photogenic and far away.

According to the information page on Bromeliaceae at clarku.edu:
"Many frogs and insects lay their eggs in the pools of bromeliads, and other, smaller organisms spend their entire lives in pools, making them functioning ecosystems." 

This is really quite cool; a self contained universe in a beautiful cup.  I LOVE learning new things.  But I can learn from books, people - no need for hands on!