Manners

This is a non-picture rant - although if I were being a complete A-dollar-dollar, I'd link up the websites of the bloggers who recently offended me.

Despite the fact that we are a global economy, and we are constantly being reminded (at least by our tech department during morning meetings) that whatever is put out on the internet is FOREVER, people can't quite get the concept.  A blog I used to follow posted pictures of araimo and how it sprouted in her garden.  Well and good.  I responded with something really important (yah, about a yam) and saw that someone had bashed poi.  OK, I don't eat the stuff anymore, but c'mon.  Let's have a little cultural openness, huh?  So I responded that there were different tastes for different people.  2 MORE IDIOTS RESPONDED THAT POI WAS NASTY AND MADE THEM VOMIT BY LOOKING AT IT.  I responded again that as someone from Hawai`i, it was kind of offensive for them to do this, and that calling someone else's food (or, if you're native, genealogy) gross was not appropriate.  1 MORE IDIOT LAUGHED AND SAID POI WAS DISGUSTING.

OK, I've read the blogs of 2 of the four idiots.  Both men are from minority demographics, so I stupidly would have expected more tolerance.

Wrote the initial poster a message saying that I knew that SHE didn't write it and that I wished her garden well, but I just couldn't be a part of any community that fostered this kind of meanness.

Seriously world.  Get a freaking grip on your manners.  Or at the very least, on your tongue. 

Botany of Desire

Besides books on food and foodways and eating, Michael Pollan also wrote The Botany of Desire, about how plants manipulate humans to create new plant species.

This leads me to wonder: Do I really want what I want?  Or is there some external force working in the universe to thwart my true desires?  I mean, I know how I'd dress given my druthers (Stevie Nicks is a GODDESS), but the reality of me is much . . . sloppier.  And less lace driven, although still platform shoed.

GODDESS

And for those more formal occasions like prom:

He'd be the best prom date ever, no offense Alan, David, or Derek

And she had an album entitled Bella Donna!  Which is a super poisonous plant!  She was so meant to be on this website somehow.

Atropa belladonna

To return to the subject of garden desire, in my last post, I swooned over black/burgundy plants.  Now those are schmexy colors invoking Tom Ford a la Gucci (in the not hilarious, campy way, but in the oh, goodness! way).  But why not pink?  Not fuchsia, but pink.  Or lavender?  I mean, look at Scott Weber's garden on any of his postings on Rhone Street Garden.  Photographic skills aside, this gentleman has a lovely sweep of lovely!  Why don't I want it?  OK, I'm lazy, and those flowers aren't going to deadhead themselves, but is that it?  I know why I don't plant anything with yellow foliage or flowers even though I do like them.  It's because I read once that real estate agents plant yellow flowers because viewers remember that, and hence, will remember the house.  My reasoning is that yellow flowers/foliage will cause someone who is casing the joint to come back and rob it.  Yah, I'm serious.  Hey, it's a good a reason as any.

But again, am I creating my personal Eden or the other way around? 

Little Known Fact: Plant Porn > Shoe Porn

There are more plants that I want than there are shoes.  This is a major statement, but easy to understand.  I mean, even trying my best, I'll never wear more than 2 different styles at one time - ideally, they'd be of similar heel height, but hey, keep an open mind, I guess.

But with the flora, oh, my goodness!  How much green (preferably black) goodness can be stuffed in a square foot?  Well, yah, depending on size, but you get my meaning.  And since I rarely refer to the template of reality, and lack any kind of aesthetic discipline, my gardens tend to be very crowded.  Sensory overload?  Who says that when confronted with an exquisite pastry selection?

So while I was waiting for the day to get really hot so I can garden (because suffering builds character, and I'm Asian), I trolled Gardendesign.com for "ideas" - and found some that really need to go in my garden, like, now.

Ghost fern (Athyrium 'Ghost')

OK, honestly, who can resist a name like "Ghost fern"?  And supposedly it glows at night because of its silvery color, hence the name.

Another fern with very awesome black stems:

Green Cliff Brake Fern (Cheilanthes viridis)

And these shrubby trees:

Elderberry (Sambucus "Black Lace")

Apparently the Elderberry also flowers quite heavily.  It's nice and all, but kind of unnecessary given the amazing color of the leaves, no?  And think of the rubbish!  I'm very anti-rubbish.

Elderberry (Sambucus "Black Lace")

Smoke Tree (Cotinus coggygria "Royal Purple")

And a closer shot of the Cotinus below.  Supposedly, it's the same, but the growth looks a lot different.  I like both!

Cotinus coggygria "Royal Purple"

Hmm, actually, I think that I have the Cotinus coggygria (top picture) in a pot.  OK, let me amend: I want more of them.   By the way, the close up shot of the Smoke Tree above is from UBC Botanical Garden and Centre for Plant Research website which is a really interesting and useful (mostly for plant porn) site even for gardeners in tropical climes.

And some tender plants:

Pineapple Lily (Eucomis comosa "Sparkling Burgundy"

The Eucomis is the deep purple plant growing in the foreground.  I also am digging those plants in the background with the black stems.  Nice.

And a Canna:

Canna Tropicanna Black

I have a skinny leafed black canna which I'm doing my best not to kill.  The Canna Tropicanna Black above has such fatty leaves.  Love.  The flowers are a little unfortunate, but they only last a day, so I can deal.

And this is the reasonable list; the plants are all good in my zone!  Except for the Elderberry which is zone 4.  But 4 is just 10 - 6 which is just like.

Happy Sunday gardening everyone.

All Front and No Knickers

Cully looks either like he's having an attack of ennui or is utterly exhausted.  Either way, he can affect this hipsterically idiotic pose because he didn't have to sweat for any of this.  Or work to receive the tax refund that fueled the pot binge that precipitated the deck transformation. 

I'm surrounded by pot

It's a very nice place to hang out day and night with good breeze, a sense of privacy, and a good micro-climate for the plants.

Too bad the floor boards and supporting joists are rotting.  Nice top side, weak supports.  But hey - one I have to look at daily.  The other is really other people's problems. 

That moment the A-HA! idea withers and dies

with an image of a dog pooing and peeing on it.

Thought that I had located the ideal site for a vegetable garden - well-draining soil and ample sunlight.

Unfortunately, it is within arcing distance of the Brat.

Vyvyan 

I suppose it's within arcing distance of the other two as well, but he's most likely to start the trend.  The next idea, the 4x7 area surrounding my mailbox - lots of sun, not so good, but easily amended soil - also went away while I watched my neighbor's dog pooing there.  So back to scheming.  And back to the market.

Regularly Scheduled Round of Paranoia

So I'm still moving things from the left to the right then back again.  Now 5 inches back.  All of which is never really thought out 'cause where's the fun in planning?  It's the doing that is meaningful.  So as part of this turning in the vegetative gyre, I moved one of my Brugmansia (the purchased one, not the one from my awesome neighbor Julie) and took cuttings from one that wasn't doing so well.

Of course after the fact is the best time to read up on Angel's Trumpet - and I only did so because I thought that growers should get on it about creating a BLACK Angel's Trumpet.  Which they already have.  Gorgeous.

Brugmansia x flava "Purple Princess"

Totally gorgeous pictures on the website from which I got the photo above.  It's in German, but no problem because 1) English is derived from the German and therefore, don't we all speak the language? and 2) google translate is good times to use.

I'm pretty desperate to have this plant - oh, well.  Thanks internet for supplying me with pictures.

But the coral and red ones (which I am also now kind of obsessed with) are also quite AMAZING.

Brugmansia x candida "Joli"

Can you imagine the whole tree covered with this?  I can't even . . .

Anyway, after reading all of the dire warnings and predictions regarding the IMMINENT demise of those with brugmansia in their yard, I'm pretty sure that my eye itch is an indication of my poisoning. 

Good thing there's always new crack to be entertained by.  One last shot of the poison!

Brugmansia-Hybride f. pleno "Angel's Inspiration"

Change and growth

On the plus side, the garden looks kind of good right now.  At like 18:17 on 2 July 2011.  RIGHT NOW.

Had some epiphanies over the last two days of gardening craziness.  1) What I want, I can't have.  There is no such thing as maintenance free.  Was not emotionally prepared to accept/understand this until now.  2) This yard is too big for me to maintain as currently envisioned.  I think that some kind of systemic poison is the answer.  3) Slave labor gets stuff done.  4)  I love putting plants in the ground SO MUCH that moving around the same plant 6 times in a day is pretty reasonable and fun.

This was the side garden last year:

Hogwire - how quaint, how naive.

I was pretty proud of how this looked last year.  But the rubbish that the bamboo was throwing down was just out of control.  The Bromeliads were just not right for the site.  So now it looks like this:

Things are a little bigger, a little more to the left.

 Things change.  I always forget that.  A year just flew by; children grew up, plants got taller, things died, new things sprouted.  Tuck was right, change, growth, decay - it's how it's supposed to be.